Incarnation 1.18: Industrial Progress

we made a lot of progress, didn’t we? when we put our heads together, vast and powerful cities were built. new technologies were discovered. industry blossomed, and civilization flourished. this progress was the progeny of our love.

it eventually soured. there were unforeseen side-effects. we could not have known. we thought we were doing good. we had the best of intentions. we never imagined that there would be such negative by-products to our labour of love. that our efforts could become so polluted.

mea culpa. mea culpa, my love. this is what we call “progress”.

cling clang the metal
hits the forge
the bridge gets erected
over the gorge

no-flow river
the well’s run dry
we own the water
and the sky

no barriers
keep us bound
nature’s getting buried
underground

Incarnation 1.18: Industrial Progress

Incarnation 1.17: The New World Order

we did not like the way things were before. so we wiped the slate clean and started over. we formed the new world in our own image; a new vision of things to come.

before there was nothing but decadence, war, and solitude. we replaced it with love, joy, and kinship. there is no room for depression in the new world order. it may chase us to the ends of the earth, but we will ultimately escape it, and live to smile another day.

if you do not believe me, you need only listen. really listen, and let it all in. love finds a way. let it wash over you.

Incarnation 1.17: The New World Order

Incarnation 1.16: Revolutions

how many stars are in the sky?

…do they go back as far as the eye can see?

your eyes were filled with tears when i saw you again. your tears were the oceans of overwhelming grief and gratitude. we had found each other again.

i didn’t know.

i know.

i didn’t think we would ever be together again.

i know.

i love you.

i know.

and that is how the revolution came to pass… quietly, without fanfare, without so much bloodshed. the sacrifices we made were not so physical, though we still hold the wound in our hearts.

fold the pages
you turned over a new leaf
an origami montage
of forty generations of grief

and the pain subsides
when you put your heart on the line again
a rollercoaster ride
translated through sign language

at the root
of the centrifuge with spokes branched out
to all your recruits
is the epicentre, pumping your heart out

with rage and love
and a blackened art
it’s a revolution…
lay the bricks you cast right from the start…

you built a wall around your feelings
a stone blockade
of forty storeys of concrete ceilings
filled with razor blades

and the rain abides
when you open the window to let the light in again
the birds cry
how you wish you could hear them sing again…

Incarnation 1.16: Revolutions

Incarnation 1.15: Bonaparte

i went to war for you! hell, i started the revolution for you. i turned the world on its back for you, as menelaus did for helen.

i long ago turned off the feelings. the righteousness took over. there was no vengeance to be had; only sacrifice and martyrdom. i vowed to not give up so easily… next time.

my Corsican Rose
daughter of the revolution
we brought it on ourselves
through our evolution

i adopted your sires
you fueled my fires
we thought that we had found
the final solution

you were my queen
my Josephine
you were everything
I had conquered in dreams

my exile destroyed us
split us in two
oceans apart
and we were no longer true

i had no son
or daughter by you
my empress, my Rose,
my Waterloo

we had other lovers
but none like each other
in the end there was nothing
this ruler could do

my Corsican Rose
daughter of the revolution
we brought it on ourselves
through our evolution

Incarnation 1.15: Bonaparte

Incarnation 1.14: The Renaissance

i thought that without you, it would be the end. the end of everything. in fact, i hoped that it would be the end of everything. i no longer wanted to see and feel, to hope and dream.

but it was not the end. a rebirth was occurring, all over the land, in every country, in every town and city, in every chapel and basilica, in every castle and mansion, in every home, every kitchen and parlour…

it was as though the whole world had been betrayed, and then stood up, brushed itself off collectively, and thumbed its nose at any who would defy its ingenuity and endurance; laughed in the face of all who would question its superior survival skills.

i thrived in this new time. i created so much beautiful art and music. people adored my beautiful work, and thus they adored me. i was known and loved for my talents, by all the richest and most powerful families; i was cherished by my patrons, and coveted by their enemies. i was inspired and inspiring. it was my betrayal that inspired me, my duplicity and veneer that made me inspiring. despite – or maybe because of – all my riches, i felt like a shell.

sometimes others can say it better (how we feel at these times, on top of the world but as low as we can get):

i’m giving in to a greater sensation
i’m giving it all tonight
i’m in it for the duration
And you’re gonna give it all tonight

and i know you want me
i know you need me
i know i can win it in one
i know you’ll give me
i know you’ll have me
i’m done and coming undone

and you’ll love me the way you love me
when you’re under my cover
You’ll have me the way you have me
and i’ll call you lover

and I’m hedging my bets
and taking a fall
i’ll throw up my arms
and risk it all

Incarnation 1.14: The Renaissance

Incarnation 1.13: A Pox On Both Our Houses

the day had finally come. i could wait no longer. i had to talk to you again, to face you and look into your eyes, to tell you who i was and how i felt about you. to see if you remembered me. i had put it off for so long, afraid of what the outcome might be. what if you no longer loved me? what if you no longer lusted for me? what if you hated me?! what if… what if you didn’t even know who i was anymore?

my fears kept me silent and inactive for so long, but in the end i had to know the truth. i had gone on pretending that it wasn’t important to me; i had gone through the motions of a normal, accomplished life. yet none of that seemed to matter when i closed my eyes at night and tried to sleep, and all i saw was your face in my mind, your loving body in my dreams…

but how was i to face you? our families were great enemies. my family would disown me if i was to tell of my love for the enemy. a plan was necessary; a plot to get you alone, unbeknownst to both our families. there seemed little other choice but to kidnap you.

on a dark, damp night in the middle of a humid summer, i crept silently into your father’s household, and into your room. you lay like a princess, beauty incarnate in your sleep. i dripped a potion onto your lips, to keep you sedated. then i carefully lifted you up and took you away.

when you awoke, we were together, in a hidden catacomb. i waited anxiously in anticipation for the recognition, as you looked into my eyes in fear and terror… but the recognition did not come. i fell to my knees in anguish and heartbreak. you screamed and stumbled away. i didn’t even try to stop you.

i knew that authorities would be looking for me. i stowed away to the forests, to become a hermit again, for the rest of my days. i thought it would be wise if i never set eyes on another human being.

years – maybe decades – later, i finally crossed paths with civilization again… i was collecting food in the woods, and a travelling bard came through a clearing. he tipped his hat to me, and offered to tell me a story in exchange for some of my nuts and berries. it had been so long since i had anyone to talk to, that i thought it might have been a hullucination. i thought why not?

and then the bard told our tale:

secret garden,
begging you i need a pardon
tell me if we’re rolling ‘cause i need to check if we have started
read a marker reading names
of owel five & jacob earl
leave em’, all the leaders said that i would go and save the world
i’d hate to say we’ve made it girl,
but we were slammed with obstacles
you made me think of summer just like, banana popsicles
and smoke outside of hospitals,
drinking an orange Orbitz
moving with the crowd, the future is loud. ignore the forest

and behind these shades of Orbison
you’ll only find a blinding stare
didn’t know the lines, i know it’s stored within my mind somewhere
if everything is mine to bear,
i really think it bothers me
i’m living life in a rom-com, romantic comedy
she can’t withstand the odyssey,
knowing the things to say
then made me follow on a shopping spree, showing no PDA
you bleed the way & seize the day
that seems to make the wrong shoes fit
once again this feels just like a John Hughes flick

pretty in pink panthers
tend to ignore the glances
haven’t heard so many zingers since dinner with George Costanza
so you swing a sword at phantoms,
keep your cool but loose the heat
and if you wanna go and dance you need some fuel to move the feet
then go to school assume the peaks,
discard the lows below the middle half
it seems a little longer but you know how long the winter lasts
it is getting fast, you’re holding on
but something’s off, wasn’t right
letting go is hard when you’re still hanging on those summer nights

love is a disease
love is in the hands of fate
you get down on hands and knees to please your mate
we were star-cross’d lovers
from the start
i should have left and cut my losses but I hadn’t the heart
love is the poison
coursing through our veins
i should have voiced it but i concealed my pain
love is an act
of betrayal
a bloody pact doomed from the start to fail…

Incarnation 1.13: A Pox On Both Our Houses

the gap seemed endless

civilization built up around me. i watched my fellow man advance. great new discoveries, bold new sciences, tragic and beautiful heresies. but i felt cold. the gap only widened with you not there. i long ago gave up searching. a part of me knew where you were; that i could see you. but i was convinced that it had been too long, too many years, too many lives; that you would no longer feel the same, that you would no longer love me. it became more true to me with every passing year. time had withered my passion.

i had not made joyous sounds in so many lives. longer than i could remember. my fingers trembled and twitched, sometimes remembering the feeling of the vibrations, music over your body. but it was just a memory, an echo. nothing more. i immersed myself in the doldrums that was everyday life. i was a serf and had no drive to succeed without my muse.

you would think that this would be the end. that the story would end here in tragedy, quietly, a slow death. but tragedy is never so banal. there is still more to come…

too many years to count

in your absence, silence. there was no sound of music, there was no sound of love. the birds did not sing. the bees did not buzz. the flowers withered and died. the leaves browned and fell to the ground. the sky darkened to ashen grey. the sun disappeared.

for many years we grew further and further apart. at times, i no longer even remembered there was anything missing. the emptiness was almost a thing in the absence of itself. the darkness was almost a comfort. it helped me forget.

had we met in another life? were we ever together before? how could we be inseparable, when here i was, alone? did you even exist, or were you a fabrication of my mind; a whim of my over-active imagination? i thought all of these things. over and over.

in-between the years of our tribal infancy, and when we finally became an evolved civilization, there was a great big silence. i lived inside that silence… and wondered if i would ever see you alive again.

on the anniversary of your death
nothing much remarkable happened to me
i felt no immortal breath
no whisper of your presence, no sudden spirituality

too many years to count have passed me by
clear-cutting the memories like a bad disease
i stopped resisting it and i don’t know why
now i just do whatever i please…

had we met in another life
maybe the cliché simply wouldn’t apply
had we met before the dying age
maybe we would still be on the same page

on the anniversary of the day we met
nothing much happened that i want to talk about
i’m not gonna bore you by listing my regrets
one more crappy list that’s too long to count

i missed you horribly, and couldn’t wait to tell you
all about my dreams
i momentarily forgot, in the thick of it all,
that you were no longer here with me

am i the only one
who sees the irony here?
i should be the missing one
i’m the one with the fear

had we met in another life
i’d admit that you were right
right about everything
it wasn’t even worth the fight…

Incarnation 1.12: tribes

after all the cities crumbled and fell – victims of their own apathy and ignorance – there was a beautiful age. an age of green and gold and harmonious living.

i wished you were there with me. i wanted to share it all with you. but i could not find you at first, and i wondered if you had finally left me for good.

still, i rejoiced in the peace and prosperity that had returned to the land. we lived in lush rainforests, and built majestic temples to our gods. it was a wonderous and mythical time, and every day felt like a glorious new rebirth. i was young and strong, and full of lust.

my family grew large and wise, and ever-powerful. we expanded the realm of our beautiful cities and shrines. eventually, we encountered other large families… some became our enemies.

i had seen so much war and murder before, i just wanted to ignore it; pretend that it was not there. i wanted to drown in love, have it suffocate me, and fill my ears so i could not smell the burning flesh, hear the bloody screams.

i ran away from my family, into the forests, to be alone. i wanted solitude and peace. i withdrew and became a hermit. for years i saw no one but the birds and the apes, the bugs and the reptiles.

then one day i was hunting, and i saw you in the forest. i knew it was you right away. it was as though all my memories resurfaced at once, crashing over me in a wave of nostalgia and nausea. i fell to my knees, and i did not know what to do. for i saw that you were with your family, your tribe… the enemy.

i ran back to my family. i was practically a stranger to them. they barely recognized me, but they took me back in. they clothed and fed me, and nursed me to health.

i recounted my tale of meeting you in the forest, and how torn and confused i was about my ambivalent feelings for you. should i approach you? what should i say to you? would you remember me? would you still love me? would you hate me because of who i was now? and why did i have all these reservations?

my sister had these wise words for me:

salt on your skin
a honeyed promise
and we’re here again
just like you promised

lip locked, tongue-tied
pulled every which way but right
and if i followed you down
would you, would you abide…

i am what you lose
and find again and again
wrapped around you tightly
binding your pain

and i am obsession
and strength, and desire
i am what you make me
again and again…

lip locked, tongue-tied
pulled every which way but right
and if i followed you down
would you, would you abide…

you are the heartbreak i hide
the ache i persist
the need i know
the want i resist

salt on my skin
a honeyed promise
and here i am again
just like you promised

lip locked, tongue-tied
pulled every which way but right
and if i followed you down
would you, would you abide…

Incarnation 1.12: Tribes

Incarnation 1.11: the dark ages

we were stunned.

it was like time stood still. and shivered a bit. rewound a bit; jerked forward, slowed down, sped up… hiccupped.

i lost you in the dark. locked in deadly embrace. the error of my heart.

it was as though i were walking blindly for decades. i could not see that which was in front of me. i could not hear what was whispered in my ear. i could not feel the give of your flesh.

i was floating in nothingness. depersonified.

i don’t remember how long it was like this. time was nonexistent. i became cold and distant. pretty soon, i did not want to love anymore. everything went dark. i felt my pulse, slow, erratic. there was nothing else left…

Incarnation 1.11: The Dark Ages