Incarnation 1.02: We Laid Our Hearts In The Ocean [video]

Posted in incarnations, videos with tags , , , , , , on 2010-02-04 by Your First Lover

we floated in an ocean of love. we dreamt, we dreamt.

Incarnation 1.01: Protozoa [video]

Posted in incarnations, videos with tags , , on 2009-12-08 by Your First Lover

from the end, back to the beginning. it all starts with the waters; the oceans…

life and love begin anew.

Incarnation 1.20: The Dirge

Posted in death, incarnations with tags , , , , on 2009-12-05 by Your First Lover

i open my eyes and i am staring up at an endless, grey sky. grass is tickling my cheeks, and i can smell rain when the wind gusts by.

i sit up and i am on the bank of a river, looking out across endless, cold, black water. it’s flowing gently eastwards.

there is a makeshift dock on the shore. an old, wooden canoe bumps against it. thump thump thump. in time with the rhythm of my heartbeat.

i sit on the bank for what seems like an eternity. then i rise and walk towards the small, wooden dirigible.

you are already waiting for me there, in the boat; wrapped up in linen. keeping your body warm. i make sure you are secured. then i get in beside you and set us adrift.

we are headed for the other side. the last man on earth will see what we have just seen.

now the star-studded cast
has not-so-quietly passed
into the blackest night
they put up a good fight

the protagonist and his foil
have shed this mortal coil
it was a good show
the death was nice and slow

our wings were our fingers
and our fingers were our wings
we flew through the airwaves
how we loved to sing

now the audience applauds
all these thespian frauds
willingly taken in
by their artistic sin

the house lights come on
to the threnodian theme song
the credits roll
we exit out into the cold

our wings were our fingers
and our fingers were our wings
we flew through the airwaves
how we loved to sing

suspend your disbelief
feel some fake grief
shed some fake tears;
feel some fake fears…

Incarnation 1.20: The Dirge

Incarnation 1.19: Love Through The Ages

Posted in death, incarnations, love through the ages, nostalgia, time with tags , , , , on 2009-11-24 by Your First Lover

we had a lot of fun, didn’t we? oh sure, there were bad times. difficult times. times i wanted to cease to exist. but overall, through the ups and downs, it was all worth it. at the end of the day, even with everything that soured, my love for you survived.

it was a great journey. i thought that i would be sad when it came to an end.

now that it is almost over, i feel almost relieved… happy and content that most things turned out good in the end.

stay by my side, while the universe explodes.

you say i’ll never
but i think i will
you’re under my skin
and we’re traveling still

and i feel this feeling
i could like it my dear
i will completely surrender
just to have you near

’cause the salt of your skin
the sweet of your kiss
the gentlest touch
brings me to this

that you say i won’t
but i think i will
your grip is tight
and we’re traveling still

you have me captive
and i like it that way
and the truest truths
are the ones i don’t say

and you think i’ll never
but i know i will
and with great abandon
i am traveling still

Incarnation 1.19: Love Through The Ages

Incarnation 1.18: Industrial Progress

Posted in incarnations, love through the ages with tags , , , , , on 2009-11-07 by Your First Lover

we made a lot of progress, didn’t we? when we put our heads together, vast and powerful cities were built. new technologies were discovered. industry blossomed, and civilization flourished. this progress was the progeny of our love.

it eventually soured. there were unforeseen side-effects. we could not have known. we thought we were doing good. we had the best of intentions. we never imagined that there would be such negative by-products to our labour of love. that our efforts could become so polluted.

mea culpa. mea culpa, my love. this is what we call “progress”.

cling clang the metal
hits the forge
the bridge gets erected
over the gorge

no-flow river
the well’s run dry
we own the water
and the sky

no barriers
keep us bound
nature’s getting buried
underground

Incarnation 1.18: Industrial Progress

Incarnation 1.17: The New World Order

Posted in incarnations, love through the ages, war with tags , , , , on 2009-10-27 by Your First Lover

we did not like the way things were before. so we wiped the slate clean and started over. we formed the new world in our own image; a new vision of things to come.

before there was nothing but decadence, war, and solitude. we replaced it with love, joy, and kinship. there is no room for depression in the new world order. it may chase us to the ends of the earth, but we will ultimately escape it, and live to smile another day.

if you do not believe me, you need only listen. really listen, and let it all in. love finds a way. let it wash over you.

Incarnation 1.17: The New World Order

Incarnation 1.16: Revolutions

Posted in incarnations, love through the ages, memory, time with tags , , on 2009-09-21 by Your First Lover

how many stars are in the sky?

…do they go back as far as the eye can see?

your eyes were filled with tears when i saw you again. your tears were the oceans of overwhelming grief and gratitude. we had found each other again.

i didn’t know.

i know.

i didn’t think we would ever be together again.

i know.

i love you.

i know.

and that is how the revolution came to pass… quietly, without fanfare, without so much bloodshed. the sacrifices we made were not so physical, though we still hold the wound in our hearts.

fold the pages
you turned over a new leaf
an origami montage
of forty generations of grief

and the pain subsides
when you put your heart on the line again
a rollercoaster ride
translated through sign language

at the root
of the centrifuge with spokes branched out
to all your recruits
is the epicentre, pumping your heart out

with rage and love
and a blackened art
it’s a revolution…
lay the bricks you cast right from the start…

you built a wall around your feelings
a stone blockade
of forty storeys of concrete ceilings
filled with razor blades

and the rain abides
when you open the window to let the light in again
the birds cry
how you wish you could hear them sing again…

Incarnation 1.16: Revolutions

Incarnation 1.15: Bonaparte

Posted in incarnations, tragedy, war with tags , on 2009-08-13 by Your First Lover

i went to war for you! hell, i started the revolution for you. i turned the world on its back for you, as menelaus did for helen.

i long ago turned off the feelings. the righteousness took over. there was no vengeance to be had; only sacrifice and martyrdom. i vowed to not give up so easily… next time.

my Corsican Rose
daughter of the revolution
we brought it on ourselves
through our evolution

i adopted your sires
you fueled my fires
we thought that we had found
the final solution

you were my queen
my Josephine
you were everything
I had conquered in dreams

my exile destroyed us
split us in two
oceans apart
and we were no longer true

i had no son
or daughter by you
my empress, my Rose,
my Waterloo

we had other lovers
but none like each other
in the end there was nothing
this ruler could do

my Corsican Rose
daughter of the revolution
we brought it on ourselves
through our evolution

Incarnation 1.15: Bonaparte

Incarnation 1.14: The Renaissance

Posted in incarnations, love through the ages, memory, nostalgia with tags , , , , , , , on 2009-08-04 by Your First Lover

i thought that without you, it would be the end. the end of everything. in fact, i hoped that it would be the end of everything. i no longer wanted to see and feel, to hope and dream.

but it was not the end. a rebirth was occurring, all over the land, in every country, in every town and city, in every chapel and basilica, in every castle and mansion, in every home, every kitchen and parlour…

it was as though the whole world had been betrayed, and then stood up, brushed itself off collectively, and thumbed its nose at any who would defy its ingenuity and endurance; laughed in the face of all who would question its superior survival skills.

i thrived in this new time. i created so much beautiful art and music. people adored my beautiful work, and thus they adored me. i was known and loved for my talents, by all the richest and most powerful families; i was cherished by my patrons, and coveted by their enemies. i was inspired and inspiring. it was my betrayal that inspired me, my duplicity and veneer that made me inspiring. despite – or maybe because of – all my riches, i felt like a shell.

sometimes others can say it better (how we feel at these times, on top of the world but as low as we can get):

i’m giving in to a greater sensation
i’m giving it all tonight
i’m in it for the duration
And you’re gonna give it all tonight

and i know you want me
i know you need me
i know i can win it in one
i know you’ll give me
i know you’ll have me
i’m done and coming undone

and you’ll love me the way you love me
when you’re under my cover
You’ll have me the way you have me
and i’ll call you lover

and I’m hedging my bets
and taking a fall
i’ll throw up my arms
and risk it all

Incarnation 1.14: The Renaissance

Incarnation 1.13: A Pox On Both Our Houses

Posted in incarnations, love through the ages, memory, tragedy with tags , , , , , on 2009-07-19 by Your First Lover

the day had finally come. i could wait no longer. i had to talk to you again, to face you and look into your eyes, to tell you who i was and how i felt about you. to see if you remembered me. i had put it off for so long, afraid of what the outcome might be. what if you no longer loved me? what if you no longer lusted for me? what if you hated me?! what if… what if you didn’t even know who i was anymore?

my fears kept me silent and inactive for so long, but in the end i had to know the truth. i had gone on pretending that it wasn’t important to me; i had gone through the motions of a normal, accomplished life. yet none of that seemed to matter when i closed my eyes at night and tried to sleep, and all i saw was your face in my mind, your loving body in my dreams…

but how was i to face you? our families were great enemies. my family would disown me if i was to tell of my love for the enemy. a plan was necessary; a plot to get you alone, unbeknownst to both our families. there seemed little other choice but to kidnap you.

on a dark, damp night in the middle of a humid summer, i crept silently into your father’s household, and into your room. you lay like a princess, beauty incarnate in your sleep. i dripped a potion onto your lips, to keep you sedated. then i carefully lifted you up and took you away.

when you awoke, we were together, in a hidden catacomb. i waited anxiously in anticipation for the recognition, as you looked into my eyes in fear and terror… but the recognition did not come. i fell to my knees in anguish and heartbreak. you screamed and stumbled away. i didn’t even try to stop you.

i knew that authorities would be looking for me. i stowed away to the forests, to become a hermit again, for the rest of my days. i thought it would be wise if i never set eyes on another human being.

years – maybe decades – later, i finally crossed paths with civilization again… i was collecting food in the woods, and a travelling bard came through a clearing. he tipped his hat to me, and offered to tell me a story in exchange for some of my nuts and berries. it had been so long since i had anyone to talk to, that i thought it might have been a hullucination. i thought why not?

and then the bard told our tale:

secret garden,
begging you i need a pardon
tell me if we’re rolling ‘cause i need to check if we have started
read a marker reading names
of owel five & jacob earl
leave em’, all the leaders said that i would go and save the world
i’d hate to say we’ve made it girl,
but we were slammed with obstacles
you made me think of summer just like, banana popsicles
and smoke outside of hospitals,
drinking an orange Orbitz
moving with the crowd, the future is loud. ignore the forest

and behind these shades of Orbison
you’ll only find a blinding stare
didn’t know the lines, i know it’s stored within my mind somewhere
if everything is mine to bear,
i really think it bothers me
i’m living life in a rom-com, romantic comedy
she can’t withstand the odyssey,
knowing the things to say
then made me follow on a shopping spree, showing no PDA
you bleed the way & seize the day
that seems to make the wrong shoes fit
once again this feels just like a John Hughes flick

pretty in pink panthers
tend to ignore the glances
haven’t heard so many zingers since dinner with George Costanza
so you swing a sword at phantoms,
keep your cool but loose the heat
and if you wanna go and dance you need some fuel to move the feet
then go to school assume the peaks,
discard the lows below the middle half
it seems a little longer but you know how long the winter lasts
it is getting fast, you’re holding on
but something’s off, wasn’t right
letting go is hard when you’re still hanging on those summer nights

love is a disease
love is in the hands of fate
you get down on hands and knees to please your mate
we were star-cross’d lovers
from the start
i should have left and cut my losses but I hadn’t the heart
love is the poison
coursing through our veins
i should have voiced it but i concealed my pain
love is an act
of betrayal
a bloody pact doomed from the start to fail…

Incarnation 1.13: A Pox On Both Our Houses